Working Mothers – The “REAL” Dilemmas

Today (8 March) is International Women’s Day. A day dedicated and celebrated in honor of women. On this occasion, I wanted a write a special post on my blog, and was wondering what I should focus on. As I looked at women all around me, I couldn’t help but observe the striking issues of “Working MOTHERS” – After all, being a mother is an important identity for many women. And working MOTHERS are a reality in the modern economy!

They manage their home, their kids, their careers, their husband [Yes! Needs special mention 😉 ], their friends / families / other relationships, themselves and a zillion other things. For all that they do, my DEEPEST APPRECIATION and RESPECT!

But more importantly, what is the “REAL Dilemma” that Working Mothers face. As I reflect more on this, here’s my response:

(1) Getting the PRIORITIES Right

The challenge for most women is getting the priorities right – First in their head, and then in day-to-day action. If you are confused about your priority list, you will have challenges almost every single day.  And this becomes all the more complicated because of the intricate nature of the dependencies and inter-dependencies based on your actions.

Take-Away : You should be able to identify the Top 5 priorities for the day, for the week, for the month, etc. And align your actions in line with these priorities.

(2) Managing EXPECTATIONS

Simply put, a working mother plays so many different roles – That of a mother, working professional, wife, daughter, sister, extended family, friend, home manager, cook, employer (in case you leverage support services within the 4 walls, etc.). And with each of these roles are several responsibilities – Both implicit and explicit! And expectations. The reality is that there are 24 hours in a day, and the world expects output worth 50 hours a day from a working mother. Somehow the math does not add up!

Take-Away : Setting and Managing expectations can alleviate a great majority of everyday challenges which most working mothers deal with. And clear communication is the key!

(3) Bridging the DICHOTOMY between the “Corporate World” and the “Other World”

The “Corporate World” expects results – Be it from a “man” or a “woman”. And to achieve results, one needs to be focused, objective, goal-oriented and to go for the kill. On the other hand, the “Other World” expects women to be flexible, accommodating, giving, sacrificing, soft-spoken, caring, nurturing. There is a “real dichotomy” between these two worlds. And it is really tough for most working mothers to transition between these two worlds on a daily basis – between morning to night!

Take-Away: I don’t know if there is any realistic solution for it, but just be aware and acknowledge that these are two different worlds and each expect different things from you

(4) Dealing with personal EMOTIONS

As a working mother, one goes through highs and lows of emotions frequently – Emotions of guilt, satisfaction, sadness, joy, self-rationalization, self-interrogation, etc. etc. At the end of the day, every women has to make personal choices. And with each choice, there are trade-offs. There is no RIGHT or WRONG! Just that every choice has a consequence which will impact your life. So once you make a choice, take responsibility for it! Emotions are a part of life. And they are integral in your personal journey.

Take-Away: Acknowledge and Accept your emotions. And find ways to deal with them!

(5) Finding it hard to say “NO”

Most of us find it hard to say “NO” to things which come our way. However the fact is that as a working mother, TIME is your most valuable resources. So you should value it and treasure it. And be judicious in how you invest it. No point in doing things which are not aligned with your priorities. If something comes you way that does not fit into your scheme of things, learn to say a loud and re-sounding “NO”

Take-Away: Start Saying “NO” to things which are not on your priority list. It is truly liberating!

(6) Aiming to make EVERYONE HAPPY ALL THE TIME

Take-Away: Accept it! You CANNOT make EVERYONE happy all the time. And that’s OK

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2 comments on “Working Mothers – The “REAL” Dilemmas

  1. Pingback: Working Mothers : This is for YOU | Nischala’s Space, Thoughts, Expressions…

  2. Maintaining a proper work – life balance has always been harder for women than it has for men. It must definitely get harder for working ‘mothers’. The mentality of people is that women must be responsible for all household work, whereas there ideally should be equal distribution of chores at home. Men certainly are not going to fight for equal rights for women, because they can go to work, come home, and be waited upon by their wives and mothers. What man would want to change their comfy existence? I’m sharing a blog that provides some great insights for working women. A must read: http://bit.ly/1aY4gHf

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